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Yesterday, I shared a story about my spirit animals and it made me think:  Who else knows what their spirit animal is?  What is it, anyway?  Or what are they?

I skipped Google and did a search for #spiritanimal on Instagram.
My, oh my….

001

This girl claims that her “sister” thinks this banana stashed in the deodorant section of Walmart is her spirit animal.  Mmmhmm.  I bet this girl buys things for her “aunt” and asks questions on behalf of “a friend,” too…

002

No.  Goth teenagers are not spirit animals.  Neither are goth teenager boners.  Please put some pants on.  I’ve spent a solid 5 minutes staring at your vagina-section, trying to determine if there’s any sort of shorts up in there.

003

This one was a little unclear to me.  Barney Stinson is your spirit animal?  That’s impossible–he’s a fictional character!  And if you really meant Neil Patrick Harris, um…well he’s engayged and has twins via a surrogate.  So, he is getting married and having kids and so forth and so on and such and stuff.

004

This guy says his spirit animal is a wolf, and he might be right, but this is not a wolf.  This is a bad photoshop job.

005

FUCK NO.  Your hair is going in the wrong direction.  Your spirit animal is not an extra from The Legend Of Zelda.  And I have zero tolerance for hair that goes the wrong way.

006

Well.  I give you a C for creativity, with the cat ears and all.  Plus the festive autumn/Halloween full moon and bat graphic in the corner–that’s a nice touch.  I’m still not entirely sure what you think your spirit animal is…a Pus-she that takes selfies?

007

Spirit animals do not consume alcohol!  This should have been hashtagged #trickery!  Someone drank the alcohol out of that bottle before strategically placing it next to that stuffed animal!  I surmise your spirit animal is a fox, my good man!

008

Your spirit animal could be a walrus.  Not a Slumberous Walrus.  To be clear: spirit animals do not take pills, prescription or otherwise.  This is a product of your languid dreams.

009

Karen Walker is not a spirit animal.  She’s a goddamn role model.  If this were a test, Instagrammer would not lose points because Karen is wearing leopard print clothing.  This would be considered a trick question, or extra credit.

010

Muppets are not spirit animals.  Her lips, tho.  Oh, Janice.

011

I hemmed and hawwed about adding this picture to the list.  Instagrammer claims his spirit animal is a bear, which is totally legit.  And these are totally legit retro-vintage-esque forest ranger/wilderness/camping bed sheets that have bears on them.  He totally gets the concept of a spirit animal…I just had to post this picture because I want to have sex on that bed.

012

Dolphins are spirit animals.  Bananas are not spirit animals.  Dolphanas are an indicator that someone needs their meds tweaked.

013

I don’t know what the fuck this is.  I suspect it had some kind of involvement in the making of the Dolphana.

014

Bea Arthur is not a spirit animal, nor are any of the other Golden Girls.  Not even the Blanche Devereaux, no matter how hardcore Cougar she is.

015

Animated characters that fart when pressure is applied and don’t follow English grammar rules are not spirit animals.

Soooo….now that we’ve established what ISN’T a spirit animal…what is?  Tell me what your spirit animal is in the comments section below!

And if you missed the original blog post about spirit animals, you can read it here.