“I need to write.” I repeated this to myself at least a dozen times in the month of July. “I need to write…there’s so much story to be made into memoir.”
But I didn’t write. Mostly for legit reasons; July was a make-it-or-break-it month for me… A month that would help evaluate Sophia 2.0’s progress since the Great Marital Bust.
And then….I was encouraged to write. I was contacted by the big cheese over at morethancheeseandbeer.com, THE one and only Hot Ash. She was starting a weekly, um…link up thingy?
(OMG I AM SO SORRY, I SUCK AT BLOGANESE, I DON’T KNOW THE LINGO)
So, basically–Fridays over at More Than Cheese And Beer are now “Friday Feats & Fails.” And she chose ME to be the first featured blogger! I was jumping up and down and soooo excited because this is SO up my alley.
I get sweaty and lightheaded when I see a giant banquet table with an array of food-for-the-taking…and ok, yeah–sometimes I fail at things, but my life failures usually have a great story to go along with them.
After I calmed down, I re-read her message and realized I already had my first FAIL–she wasn’t asking me to write about feasts… She was asking me to write about feats. Accomplishments. All of my accomplishments within a week’s time.
Well. Challenge accepted. I just have one little twist. I can’t limit my feats and fails to the past week, because they mostly span the entire month of July. And I say “challenge accepted” because…well there is so much back story to many of these feats, many of them deserve (and will get) their own story on GlitBru.
Sophia 2.0’s Feats, July 2014
-My first event, as Marketing & Events Specialist for Lancaster Newspapers, Inc. was the Food & Spirits Festival, a showcase of local restaurants, food vendors, microbreweries, wineries, and distilleries–all providing generous samples and tastings to attendees.
-I met Food Network’s Chef Robert Irvine, of ‘Restaurant Impossible’ and ‘Dinner Impossible’ (plus other programs, author of books, etc.) I oversaw the VIP Brunch, met his manager (Justin) and executive chef (Shane), and I was the stagehand for his cooking demo!
-Not only did I meet Chef Irvine, we took a selfie AND he recorded a video–an unofficial casting call to all the single guys in Lancaster to take me out on a DATE!
-My social calendar blew up with invites to parties, get togethers, birthday celebrations, etc.
-I was at a 4th of July pig roast, and a young woman approached me and asked, “Are you the girl from Glitter & Bruises?” (I. DIED. OMG.) I’m super-aware of the potential for paparazzi jumping out of the bushes and snapping bad pictures of me, so my eyebrow game leveled up.
-Synchronicity once again proved to be real; through strange, cosmic alignment and being at the right place at the right time, I’ve connected with Penny Dutch, makers of super dope apparel from the land of the Amish.
-GlitBru was a sponsor in Penny Dutch’s music festival fundraiser event to benefit Clare House, a non-profit organization that serves homeless women and children in a caring environment, through life skills training and support, leading to self-sufficiency.
This was just the BIG stuff. If you follow me on social media, you probably know all about what I was up to in July. If you don’t, here’s your chance.
Also, I met someone. Which brings me to…
Sophia 2.0’s Fails, July 2014
July 2014 was month #7 of separation/pending divorce. I haven’t really given much thought to dating, although I’ve certainly joked about it… And made comments about stocking up on batteries… (um, haha?)
But I’m in a relationship with myself, and I like it. For real. I love the woman I’m becoming. I’m genuinely happy. And I really, really want to put every ounce of energy into my son, my job, and GlitBru. That’s it.
And then I met someone. Well…he met me. Or whatever. I was at a 5th of July BBQ (yep, 5th) and I …caught his eye, I guess.
The next day, he sent me a friend request on Facebook. Then a message. Then a phone number.
OK–I don’t really know how to do this…? Like, talking? Talking-to-Dating. Whatever the single folks are calling it these days. I do know how to be polite, though. And I know that it’s really easy to give the impression “I’m just not that into you” when communication is done via text, or written word…
Honoring my commitment to honesty, I did tell him I was about to go into the busiest week of 2014–the week before Food & Spirits Festival. Texts likely would go unanswered for hours at a time, phone calls might be missed or not returned until the next day…
It was really important to me to focus on making this event, *my* first event, a success. I wanted to be fully present and involved as a leader; to make sure things went smoothly; to prove myself valuable, responsible, and dependable–to my superiors, my colleagues, my vendors & business owners, and to the attendees.
Plus, I totally didn’t know this guy. I’ll say this: he was totally respectful of my busy schedule.
So…that alone was so worth a first date. It was lovely.
During the month of July, I found my focus shifting away from the success of Sophia 2.0 and more towards getting to know someone beyond the surface… And since this is so unbelievably foreign to me, I even met his daughter, who is BEYOND lovely and with whom I felt a natural connection to…instantly.
In hindsight, it was completely irresponsible of me to agree to that. I take ownership of that. I had a choice between “yes” or “not just yet.”
Here’s why this is a FAIL: on Monday, we went out on a second “real, just the two of us” date…finally, after a busy month. It was nice…we had lunch, went for a stroll around the park, and rounded it out with a nice discussion about our future.
Which basically went like this (not exact quotes).
Him: “I reconnected with an old friend about a week after I met you at the BBQ. I have to see where things go with her.”
Me: “Oh. Wow.”
Him: “I’m sorry. My daughter is really mad at me. But it’s not right to keep this going, because I have to see where things go with this other person.”
Me: “Oh. I just…wow. I’m surprised.” :::thinking::: what a waste of makeup today
Him: “I’m sorry. You’re _____ (insert flattering words like ‘beautiful,’ ‘ambitious,’ etc). I knew you’d be disappointed. I’m sorry.”
Me: “You were…like totally OK with me posting a picture of the two of us, just last week? Did she see it? OMG! I can’t believe I posted a picture of us! And everything I wrote…OMG.”
Him: “Do you regret that?”
Him: “Because I don’t regret that.”
Me: “I… uh…”
Him: “I know you’re a writer, if you need to write about this, blog about this, I understand. I’m sorry.”
Me: :::thinking::: BLOG omg are you kidding me, I have so much to blog about, what a complete waste of my time this month, SHIT. And laundry, piles and piles of laundry I should be doing right now before another busy work week. OMG. I need to go, I have shit to do.
Him: “I hope you don’t unfriend me…blah blah blah.”
Me: “Oh…gosh, no. Look, I’m not mad. I get it. This is not the first time I’ve had this conversation. That’s why I won’t use any online dating websites. I don’t want to get involved with someone who is, you know…shopping around. I’m trying to avoid conversations like these. I appreciate your honesty. I’m not mad, I’m just….surprised.”
We parted ways. I had to get my nails done (ugh, totally should have done it earlier)…but I got lost (dumbfounded and distracted, really) so I thought eff it and did some retail therapy instead:
Much later that night, after I had time to digest what happened, I sent him a text (figuring honesty deserves honesty, it’s only fair) and told him I changed my mind about unfriending him.
The only person I am mad at….is me. For allowing something to divert my attention away from my own goals.
I get it. Totally. We weren’t anything.
And….everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. My big fail is that I chose to spend some time nurturing a potential relationship when I knew damn well I didn’t have time and it wasn’t going to assist me in reaching professional success.
Sophia 2.0 is all about positive, transformative energy, though.
And really–a “fail” is open to interpretation.
It kind of… feels like… a feat.
Now you see this linky thing below? I have no idea what that is. But basically, it’s supposed to connect you with other bloggers who are sharing their Friday feats and fails. And if I am wrong, I will edit what I said.
If I am wrong, I will edit what I wrote.
Because I am a decent writer but I suck at the internetz.
Wait–I think this is my newest Friday Fail.
In the meantime, check out Hot Ash here.
AND OMG LOOK AT ALL THE NICE THINGS SHE SAID ABOUT ME HERE, I COULD CRY YOU GUYS, SRSLY. LOOK GAWDDAMMIT LOOK